The Grass is Always Greener...when there IS no grass!

Act 1, Scene 3

[STILL in the frozen tundra of the Arctic Circle in a tiny office..which looks nothing like the picture below]

ABBY:

Okay...so you're wondering what prompted the picture of a perfectly manicured lawn...complete with straight lines and not a blade out of place. Or...maybe you aren't. Regardless, i'm going to talk about it! People are always saying that the grass is greener on the other side. I am not going to debate whether or not that is myth or reality because it isn't really pertinent right now. However, for the purpose of this blog post...the grass is greener when there IS no grass in the first place! Please refer to the embarrassing moment below:

HOME BUYER: (text message this afternoon)

Hi! I was wondering if you would mind if I stopped by and mowed the lawn? 

ABBY:

What?! It should have been mowed already.  I specifically set up an appointment for someone to come mow it last week?!

HB:

Well a friend of mine drove by and said it's getting pretty high...so you know...i'd be more than happy to do it!

ABBY: (after dialing the lawn mowers who didn't answer and obviously didn't mow the lawn either)

Okay...well...I can't get in touch with the boys where were supposed to mow...so if you really want to...you're awesome!

[end of texting]

It is a commonly known fact among my friends that one of the main reasons I loathe being a homeowner at this point in my life is the LAWN. [cue horror music]. Really..it's impossible to keep your lawn impeccable from 3000 miles away. Sure there are lawn services...but then there are also sprinkler system malfunctions and no one has a key to get in and check the box and/or fix the problem, and then the neighbors are offended because there are a few less than lusciously green places on your lawn and for HEAVEN'S SAKE...they are trying to sell their home and my lawn makes the whole neighborhood unappealing. Apparently. In my defense...this is a very obsessive neighbor, and the grass, while not perfect, was fine. Still cut, cleaned up etc...just a little less green.  Please note: this is apparently a home owner fail. My neighbors took it upon themselves to come over whenever they wanted and put THEIR sprinklers on MY lawn without so much as a by your leave. I'm sure they meant it to be helpful...but really..it's CREEPY to have who knows who wandering about your lawn at 9 pm at night and turning on a sprinkler you turned off already and have no idea whom it belongs to!  Also...lawns come with weeds...lots of them if you're not careful...and I don't have the time to be careful! 

Having said all that...my HB is a gem. She is going to mow her lawn like a good home owner should, and the neighbors will love her. I, on the other hand, am only too happy to hand her the keys as soon as possible and be lawn-less for awhile!

[Lawn mower in the background as Act 1, Scene 3 closes...]